Kaki Kaki is a Texas A&M Graduate student studying Aerospace engineering. Kaki was involved in a car accident shortly after turning 18, which resulted in a spinal cord injury leaving him paralyzed from the waist down.
In this episode, Kaki talks about the ways he’s had to adapt and transition to being a college student and having a disability. He also discusses the value of community and how disability has become an important part of who he is.
Transcript
Tanner Parker: What do you think and feel when you hear the word disability? For thousands of students at Texas A&M University, disability is a part of how they explore and engage with the Aggie experience. This is Agcess, a collection of first person stories on what disability means to Aggies just like you. We hope these conversations open your eyes and offer new perspective toward your understanding of disability.
Tanner Parker: Hey, y’all my name is Tanner Parker. I am a senior Communication major here at Texas A&M, and you are listening to Agcess, stories about disability and access from the Texas A&M University community. I’m joined by my awesome co-host Justin Romack.
Justin Romack: Howdy!
Tanner Parker: And today we are joined by Kaki Kaki. He is a graduate student here at Texas A&M, studying aerospace engineering. Thank you for joining us today, Kaki. How are you?
Kaki Kaki: I’m doing good. How about yourself?
Tanner Parker: Pretty good.
Justin Romack: Kaki, what got you to Texas A&M, and what are you studying and doing here?
Kaki Kaki: So it’s been eight, nine years maybe, since I first came to this campus. I was just visiting a friend, and I didn’t have any real connections to the campus. My siblings and my parents did not go here, but I just really liked the campus. I got a tour, it was really nice. And so when I finally did decide to go to university, I applied, and I happened to get in. So I just graduated undergrad in last May with my degree, aerospace engineering. And I’m currently doing my masters in aerospace engineering as well.
Justin Romack: So we re-upped you for another little bit, right?
Kaki Kaki: Yep. Got another year or so here.
Justin Romack: Yeah. This is a podcast about disability, and you are a disabled person. I would be curious to know if you could tell us a little bit about your disability, and what the idea of disability means to you.
Kaki Kaki: Yeah. That’s no problem. So I actually have not always been disabled. I got into a car accident about eight and a half years ago, something like that. Yeah. Eight and a half years. And it was actually a car accident, spinal cord injury, C5, C6. So I broke my neck and paralyzed me from the chest down. I’m in a sect of what they call tetraplegic. It not paraplegic, it’s not quadriplegic. It just means that I have some function of my arms, but not totally functionable. So yeah. So that is my disability. My disability and what it means to me… That’s an interesting one. It’s not the first time I’ve thought about this, but it’s kind of hard to put into words, something like that, especially from someone who was on the outside, looking in for a while, I guess. As in, I’ve seen people with disabilities and I used to feel bad for them.
Kaki Kaki: I was like, “Oh man, they’re in a wheelchair” or whatever it may be. And then when it happened to me, I still kind of get that look, people look at me like, “Oh man, he’s disabled.” And so I don’t get mad about that. I’m understanding, because I was the same way, which is kind of funny thinking about it. But yeah, in terms of what it means, I would say… What’s a good word for it. I have no problem identifying with it. Obviously, I’m in the chair, so whether I will want to identify with it or not is a totally different thing, but it is something I like to identify, because it’s who I am and I have no problem with it, in terms of just being who I am, I guess. But dang, I’m trying to find a good word for this.
Justin Romack: Well, and I think you touched on that identity piece. I mean, it is a part of you, and it would be impossible to separate that part from the rest of you, right?
Kaki Kaki: Yeah, no, that’s true. For me also, it’s been kind of a growth as well. I’m sure, as you know, people with disabilities just inherently experience things more than people who don’t have it. And that in and of itself has a deep meaning, which I think most people with disabilities kind of take pride in that almost, as if it’s something that we do, and not everyone else can even understand it. And I think that’s something that’s really important to actually take pride in.
Justin Romack: Wow. That’s really powerful. And I think it’s something that… I think you’re right. It’s an evolution. I would imagine after your accident, you were probably flooded with a lot of emotions. Do you feel like there was an event, or a conversation, or just a gradual sort of awareness that changed your perception on that? Or do you feel like that was something that you sort of easily leaned into after your accident?
Kaki Kaki: So, especially when something happens like this at a young age, I was 18. I’d been 18 for six months. I graduated high school a few months before that. So yeah. So I mean, there was a lot of emotion going around, but I also remember there was this odd composure almost. And the fact that I didn’t really feel like I was disabled yet, because I was in the hospital for a few weeks, actually two months. So I was in a hospital bed, I had a lot of medicine, a lot of things were going on, and I never had to worry about actually being on a wheelchair, and they talked about it, I went to therapy, and then I vividly remember this day. I was in the rehab part of the hospital. And they had always talked about, “Oh, we’re going to put these cool, fancy things on your chair.”
Kaki Kaki: And I was like, “Oh, this is cool, a nice power chair. I don’t have to do anything. It moves me around.” And then I remember the day they brought it in, they were showing me all the cool specs on it. It was me and my mom in the room, and the salesman, or whoever else. And I just remember looking at it, they were showing me these cool things and features that it does. And I just remember them leaving and I couldn’t stop crying. And I think that’s kind of when it hit me, this is actually going to be my life.
Kaki Kaki: So it was very interesting, because I was with my mom, and she just told me some things to try to cheer me up and whatnot. But obviously… So that’s when the most emotion came, and that was the moment I’d really realized it. And then from there, it’s just small experiences that kind of build on itself. Taking extra trips to the hospital, because you have to, because that’s just kind of what happens when you’re in a wheelchair, things happened and you need to go to the hospitals, you need to handle things in a certain way, I guess is the best way I can put it without going into too much detail. But yeah. I mean, just experiences here and there, from me being in a wheelchair has just made me mature over time.
Justin Romack: I’m interested in this idea of community, because it does sound like your perspective on disability has refined along the way. Have there been people that have been influential in your development as a disabled person? Do you feel like you have a community that you’re plugged into, and have sort of been able to get feedback from others and work through this idea together?
Kaki Kaki: Yeah. Moreso at the beginning, when my accident first happened. I had a lot of people come see me, friends and otherwise. And in particular, there’s a physical therapist I see in San Antonio. She’s actually an A&M graduate. And so she’s been working with spinal cord injuries for 30, 40 years, something like that. So she kind of introduced me to the community, I guess, in a way. And then funny enough, actually, someone I went to high school with had a similar spinal cord injury accident a year before. So he was a year ahead of me. So he already had some previous knowledge that he could hand down to me. And we weren’t good friends or anything, but he just came to see, because it was something that he had gone through. So he helped, he actually introduced me to the therapist. And then from there, it was a whole community of people.
Tanner Parker: I feel like that’s just a big circle, your friend who introduced you to the therapist who went to A&M, who introduced you into the A&M community, and then you ended up at A&M, and it’s just a full circle. I just have a question, I guess, about the timeline. So you said your accident happened a couple months after you graduated high school. And so did you go straight into college that following fall, or did you take some time off?
Kaki Kaki: No, actually. So I was at a community college. It was in the middle of the semester. It was right after graduation. So May, and then I had the summer, and then I started back community college in August.
Tanner Parker: Can you talk about that? How it was happening in the middle of a semester, especially your first semester as a college student? That’s already hard itself.
Kaki Kaki: So because of the severity of the accident, I just had to drop everything. All of my classes were just withdrawn. It’s like they never happened, because it was a medical thing, and then I didn’t go back until 2014 of fall. So it was about two, two and a half years after the accident, in going to therapy and things like that, when I went back to school.
Tanner Parker: So I’m curious to know, in those two and a half years that you took some time off, what were you learning, and were you growing at all?
Kaki Kaki: I was definitely growing. So in those two, two and a half years or so, I would go to physical therapy twice a week, and then I would do occupational therapy as well, not at as much. My family was very supportive, so that was an easy transition, because we actually lived in the Seguin, New Braunfels area. It’s about 45 minutes, an hour away from here or from San Antonio. And after the accident happened, we moved back to San Antonio, just because that’s where all my doctors were, and more friends, things like that. So it was just simpler.
Kaki Kaki: But in terms of growing, the best way I can put it, it’s kind of interesting. It’s kind of like you’re a baby again, except you have a mind of a 18 year old. So you’re learning to do everything physically again, not walk in this case, but I went from using a power chair to using a manual chair, grabbing a fork and actually bringing it to my mouth and eating, things like that. And so I was learning all of those things again, but I was an adult at that point. So it was an interesting perspective, relearning everything in a different manner. But yeah, it’s definitely taught me a lot.
Justin Romack: Wow. What a powerful transition, and what an opportunity to build yourself, and to build your skillset. And then you propelled yourself into Texas A&M, you get into classes here. I didn’t know that part of your story was that you had started at a community college before your accident. So that’s really new to me, and I think it offers a really interesting perspective on, now you’re here at Texas A&M, you’re in classes, what sorts of barriers do you feel like you experience now with your disability, and how have you been able to navigate those in the classroom?
Kaki Kaki: So, one thing I learned really quickly is I don’t like auditoriums, cause I always have to stay at the top, and then the next person’s three rows out of me. But the main thing has probably been taking my exams and doing my own homework. And so, for those people who don’t know, tetraplegic is defined as someone who has limited function in their arms. And I don’t have any motor control in my fingers. So I grab a pen, and I don’t use pen and pencil to write. Everything is on either my Surface Pro laptop, which is touchscreen, and my iPad. And so for exams, I actually have to use a scribe down at the testing center, which is where I ended up seeing you a few times, Justin. So I would…and it’s really interesting to explain to someone who hasn’t taken a math class in 10 years about some of the things that they have to write down.
Kaki Kaki: It’s a learning curve, but you just keep learning from it, and there’s always something to learn with a disability. There’s always some new thing that you have to go through, or anything like that. But yeah, so the transition with the scribe, and then also one of the things was I didn’t, when I first started school, I had no idea how I was going to write. I remember I would type stuff in my phone notes, and it just didn’t even kind of look the same as writing, to where eventually I got to a point where I relearned how to write, I guess, and so I actually use my Surface Pro for the writing app. And I use the corner of my palm, and I write everything that way, rather than use a pen or pencil or something like that. So technology has been super helpful with that as well.
Tanner Parker: As you mentioned earlier, you are in aerospace engineering. So I’m wondering, has disability shaped your influence or career aspirations?
Kaki Kaki: So the short answer is no. Before my accident, when I started community college the first time, I was also doing classes for engineering. And so even after my accident, I saw no reason why it’s something I couldn’t do. I just had to do it differently. But it didn’t change what I wanted to do, no.
Tanner Parker: So Kaki, I’m curious to know about, what do you wish your peers and our campus us knew about disability?
Kaki Kaki: That’s an interesting one. I would say…
Kaki Kaki: I’ve made a few friends while I’m here, but I feel like some people are more… They’re sensitive to the idea of someone with a disability. And a friend actually told me this once. They said, it’s almost intimidating to approach someone with a disability, because they don’t know how. And I kind of thought about that for a little bit, I was like, how do you approach anyone else? You know what I mean? There shouldn’t be a difference, and I think it’s important for people to understand that. And if more people understood that, I think it would make a lot of lives easier for people with disabilities, not just here on campus, but any campus, anywhere.
Justin Romack: Absolutely. So powerful. I think attitudes, and behaviors, and just misunderstanding, it can hinder what would be a wonderful opportunity to learn and grow and collaborate together. And so I think that’s such a powerful word. I’m so grateful for this conversation, and for you, your willingness to share your story, share your perspective with us and with our community. Thank you so much for your time, Kaki. I appreciate it.
Kaki Kaki: Yeah, of course. Thank you guys for having me. I love this kind of stuff. Just spread some awareness, you know?
Justin Romack: Absolutely.